Past
by Xescay
Summary: What would you do if you could change the past? What if you were given the chance to change something? Would you take over the world? Would you make a new culture? I know what I'd do. I'd just get my father back.


DISCLAIMER: FF7 does not belong to me. No matter how hard I wish.

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><p>My name is Karen Fair.<p>

I am twelve years old.

I live in Midgar.

My elder brother is called Genesis.

My life is great.

I am… I am…

I am a SOLDIER, first class.

This is my story.

If we could change the past…

I have pondered long and hard. If we could change the past, what would we change and why?

And more importantly, what would I change and why.

But like I said, if we could change the past.

There is a story that speaks of a forbidden love. A woman and a man meet and together bite into the flesh of the fruit of lust.

They were banished from their peoples' realms because of this.

The woman died just after childbirth, and the man, by being hanged.

Their child, the being they brought to the world by their lovemaking, became the onibaba, the old hag of monsters.

It is said that onibaba had the abilities to allow you to go back into the past and change it.

It is said, anyway.

And it is also said that all who tried, have never come back to tell the tale.

The words that sends flares of fear down every person's spine.

The words that makes every child cower beneath their beds.

The words that can make even grown men cry.

"My name is Onibaba."

Onibaba can let you go to the past for a small price.

That price is your life if you fail in what you strive to do.

She'll take any offer, apparently,

I guess I'll give it a try.

Coming to a lair, I saunter in. I am not the lovechild of a wonderful couple. I was brought to the world knowing pain and suffering.

I know how to handle worse situations.

I think.

"I am Onibaba."

These few words, this phrase that can freeze a person to the spot hold no meaning to me.

To me, all it is, is a bunch of words.

What can an old hag do, after all?

A lot, it seems.

"I am Karen."

I call back into the gloom. It's rude to not reply, right?

Speaking of rude… I wonder how he's doing these days.

And Reno. And Elena. And Cissnei.

And everyone else.

"Why have you come here?"

I flinch as a cold stinging thing flits beside my check.

It hurts, but I must not show any weakness.

"You… you have pride, and honour."

These words are spoken in amazement, yet there is a bitter undertone.

Who is this… this monster hag?

"You have felt pain like no other, yet you choose to live in such a world that has done pain upon you. Why?"

She speaks, again.

Her words once again are that strange mixture of amazed bitterness.

"You wish to save your friend… your father…"

She knows.

She can read minds,

That's something new.

But she's right.

I want to, no I need to save Seph.

"Go, upon this power granted upon me by my parent's love, go."

A portal opens, and I am sucked into the maelstrom of blackness.

My body feels numb, my limbs feel as if they are about to shatter to a million pieces.

But I shall preserver.

For Seph.

And for Genesis.

And everyone else.

Jenova, a being that crashes upon our planet so long ago, now resides within the once-great general Sephiroth.

She… no, it, uses him like a puppet.

He cannot help it.

He fights an internal battle every day for control over his body.

It is too strong for him.

How can one man defeat something that nearly wiped out an entire planet on his own?

That is why I will help him, and bring him home.

Then maybe big brother and Angeal won't go drinking every day to drown away their sadness.

Maybe.

"Son, I am the only truth you know. I am Jenova, your mother."

Every lost son and daughter wishes to hear that. To finally know that they have a parent, and are loved.

For most, this never happens.

For Seph, it did.

"No! I don't want this! Zack, please, Zack, just kill me."

At first, he wanted it. To feel her warm embrace was the best thing that'd ever happened to him.

Then he sensed the puppet strings reaching out and ensnaring him.

He fought.

He fought long and hard, like the lone wolf he was.

He lost.

"Seph! Please, can you hear me! Seph!"

There is nothing but darkness around me.

It envelopes me. It envelopes him.

Him… the shining jewel in this silken dark.

I reach out to grab his limp hand hanging beside him.

I long to touch his cool skin, to breathe in his musky scent.

He fades before my eyes.

"Karen! Karen! Wait! I wanna go back, with you! Please, help!"

He screeches and kicks and bites and fights even harder than before.

But it ends like the last few hundred fights,

He loses.

His sense of smell and sight and hearing is fading.

The world is fading away again.

But he can still feel his 'daughter's heartbeat.

He can sense it, feel its strength.

He understands why.

She believes in him too much to give up now.

"Son, that girl-child is nothing. She is not part of our reunion. She is nothing."

I scream. Why, why is he gone from me?

Why was he snatched away from me again?

Is it that I am destined to fail all I try?

No. I cannot give up. I will not.

I love Seph too much.

I will not fail him.

"Seph! Wait up! Hang in there, I'm coming!"

His ears twitch as he hears these words.

The most beloved person in his life is coming back.

She'll fight alongside him.

Right?

"Son, do not let that girl-child blind you to our cause. She is worthless."

A woman stands in front of me. She stands between me and Seph.

"Go away, child. My son has no want to see you."

My heart pounds erratically. This is Jenova, in her truest form.

She is a woman. An alien woman who has hurt my father so.

Her lips move to form a wordless song.

The world crashes upon me.

"No! Karen! No!"

He swims through the dense dark, reaching out desperately as he calls my name.

Behind him, Jenova tries to stop him, but this is his realm, not hers.

I fall quicker and quicker into the darkness.

My body is limp in the liquid darkness.

It feels warm and embracing.

Is this what it feels like to die?

Is this what Seph felt when he was killed?

Why is this warmth so nostalgic and poignant?

Why do I feel as if I were floating on a fluffy white cloud?

Or resting upon white downy wings?

Maybe I'm in heaven.

Maybe I'm in hell.

Either way, I accept my end.

I sigh. I'm so sorry, Seph, I have failed you.

But I accept the end. No matter what.

But am I truly at rest? Have I truly expired?

"You have failed, Karen. For this, you are bound to me forevermore."

My heart sinks as far as it can sink and beyond. I have failed. I have died.

Seph is still in the lifestream, plotting Jenova's vengeance.

He'll come back again to destroy what he loves.

And Genesis and Angeal will continue drinking to their deaths.

All I did was for naught.

I was destined for failure from the start.

The Goddess must be laughing at me from her throne high above our heads.

I don't blame her.

How stupid and insignificant I must be.

I scream. This is a horror film, surely!

"Shh, shh, Karen, Karen, it's ok. Shh, shh, it's ok, it's ok."

Who said that? Why is that whisper so familiar?

I feel soft hair brush against my lip, my cheek, my forehead.

The sensation of the hair's gentle embrace brings back tear-jerking memories.

Am I dead forevermore, existing only as a tortured ghost cursed forever to feel a loving touch, but never to experience it?

I guess I deserve it, having killed all of those people.

Good bye, Seph. Good bye, Genesis, Angeal, everybody.

A tear trickles from the corner of my eyes.

I'm sorry. I have failed you all.

"Karen, why are you crying?"

A finger gently brushes the tear away. Warm lips press themselves onto my cold forehead.

I feel dead in this person's warm embrace.

Who are they, why does this all feel so familiar?

Why do I know the subtle aroma that envelopes them?

How do they know my name?

My feverish mind tries to put two and two together.

And fails.

Miserably.

"Please, Karen, wake up."

A cry wakes me from slumber. I am once again enveloped by dark. A little point of light shines above my head.

"Please, wake up."

My arms and legs are encased with ice. Jenova's glare watches me mirthfully as I fail time and time again.

But I will not fail.

I must not fail.

For Seph's awaiting my return.

"Karen… please, don't give up. Jenova's not gonna defeat you. Please, you gotta promise me you'll come back."

I sink deeper and deeper into the sinkhole.

I cannot tell night from day, or light from dark.

Good from evil.

What is the time?

Am I hungry, or has someone fed me?

Why am I here; and where am I?

I wanna give up…

"Karen, you've gotta stay strong!"

But a voice urges me on…

"Don't you dare give up!"

And a hand guides my path…

"We can defeat Jenova, once and for all! If only you come back."

Separated we're weak,

Together we're strong.

Neither fire nor ice can break our bond,

A smith cannot forge steel stronger than our friendship.

"Karen, keep going!"

A speck of light appears above me.

I fly toward it with newly found wings.

One white, one black, they are as contrasting as anything ever could be.

Yet they are one and the same.

A voice urges me on indefatigably.

A man calls to me.

His reverent calls call me back.

Back to the light of my planet and world.

Back, back to the warmth of the place I call home.

Back to the company of my brother and friends.

Back to the busy mess I call a life.

And back to the embrace of the man I love.

Back to the warm embrace of Seph's arms.

Fin.

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><p>Please reveiw! I'd love to know what you think andor how I could improve my writing.

Thanks for reading!


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